So now I’m back living through an uncertain, dark future again.”Col leaned across and took my hands. “Oh, Willi. But you managed last time, you can do it again.” She stopped and took a sharp breath in realisation. “Was that ... did that ... you said before that there were ... other times. Was this darkness part of that?”I looked past her over her shoulder, tasting my memories of that time. The constant threat of nuclear annihilation was part of the rotten, acrid flavour of my teens and early twenties – but only as a grimy, roiling background for the canvas on which the rest of my life was chaotically splashed.“It didn’t help, but it was so omnipresent that it became part of the background. And then I moved to Australia, the other side of the world where the threat was very distant.”Col looked at me, her voice soft. “Can you tell me why you ... tried again?”My breathing sped up as I looked into my past which was again my future. “I never really fitted in anywhere. I knew I couldn’t be. Am I happy about the baby, Maggie? No. I am so far beyond happy I don't even know what to call what I'm feeling." I ... I don't understand," a very pale Margret croaked hoarsely."I know my darling and that make me so very sad." Teresa tried to smile. Suddenly the outside kitchen door opened and Marlin stomped in followed by a grinning Malinda."Watch out everybody, Mr. Grumpy-Bear is home," Malinda announced."Bad trip, dear?" Teresa asked."Yes," he replied curtly and then sighed and hugged her from behind giving her a kiss from around the side. "Which is not a reflection of the company I had, by the way." He had to send someone on to the Agency," Malinda filled in."I'm sorry to hear that, Honey," Teresa patted his hand where it came around her. "It wasn't someone we knew was it?" Trish, we know just about everybody here in the shire," Malinda chuckled. "How could it not be someone we know? Anyway it was one of the Hempfield boys; the oldest I think. That was Mike, right?" I believe.
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